The door swings open as I knock. A woman steps forward and I see the shotgun in in her right hand.
“Did you want some money?” she asks me.
“No, I am … just here to talk about wildlife,” I say. Her dog pokes its head out the door and looks at me. I step back and hold my Save the Whales clipboard against my chest. She steps onto the porch. The dog sits on its haunches. She rests the butt of the gun on the ground and holds the barrel at an angle away from her.
“This morning I woke up with a hangover,” she says.
“I’m sorry about that,” I say.
“Do you want to come in and talk about wildlife?”
“Okay.”
The woman steps to one side for me to enter ahead of her. The dog nuzzles forward and I offer my hand. He sniffs a moment and I pat it. “Nice dog,” I say and step into the house. The throw rug over the hardwood floor is so exquisite I think to take off my shoes.
“That’s okay,” she says. “Just wipe ‘em on the mat.”
I wipe my feet. The woman walks past the dining table and into the kitchen. “Would you like some tea?” she calls.
“Sure,” I say.
“So how is the wildlife?” she asks. “Is that what you came to tell me?”
“The largest mammal in existence is in danger of extinction.”
“You’re a concerned citizen,” she says. I walk toward the kitchen slowly. She wears a pink bathrobe and black rubber boots. Following my gaze, she says, “I was watering before you came.”
“Save the Whales is a non-profit dedicated to protecting whales.”
“You should have told me that before you came in,” she says.
I turn my head towards the opposite wall. “This is a really nice house,” I say.
“You could say I’m protected,” she retorts.
“Do you always answer the door with a shotgun?”
“Only when I want to make friends,” she says.
A man walks in the living room and says, “I don’t want tea.” He has a white T-shirt and boxers. He sits down at the table next to me and says, “I like the government.” He stares at me. His face is unshaven and I can smell his breath.
“I like the government too,” I say.
“Did you come here to sell me something?” he says.
“No,” I say.
“That’s good,” he says and pats the side of my face. The woman brings me a cup of tea. The dog sits beside the man. The woman sits across from him. “Stanley,” she says, “this young man is here to tell us about the wildlife.” I nod my head and smile.